For Your Love
by DemonicBallerina
Summary: When a ghost shows up offering to help HER, Suze knows there's something strange going on. Can the ghost be trusted? And will Suze EVER get to be with Jesse?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise from The Mediator**

**For Your Love**

**Chapter One**

I stood outside my bedroom, almost afraid to go in. The door was shut in front of me. I stared at it; the only barrier between me and what was probably going to end up being the last time I ever saw Jesse. I didn't know if I could go in. He was probably already there, waiting for me. He probably just wanted to get it over and done with.

"Suze?" I turned and saw that David had paused before going into his own room. He was looking at me, concerned. "Are you okay?"

I guess he hadn't come across too many sixteen-year-old girls who were afraid to go into their own bedrooms. Yeah, well, welcome to my life David.

I forced a smile. "I'm fine. I'm just, uh… never mind."

David shrugged and walked into his room. Well it was okay for him, wasn't it? He _could_ go into his room without having to worry that his ghostly boyfriend – I mean girlfriend – was in there, waiting to break up with him. Lucky kid.

I looked back at the door. Jesse would have heard David talking to me just then. It was now or never.

As I walked into my room Jesse got up from where he was sitting on the window seat. My heart skipped a beat. This was it. He was going to give me the official reason as to why he suddenly stopped coming to see me a few days ago. One look at his face told me all I needed to know: the reason was not good.

I mean, I had known what was coming the second it clicked that Jesse was avoiding me. But at least I still had hope then, you know? Now what did I have? A reluctant promise from him when we accidentally met in Father Dom's office that we'd 'talk later'. Oh and a really sad look on his face. Not really a great way of letting me know that everything is okay between us, if you ask me.

"Susannah," he said, staring at me sadly, "I have to talk to you about something."

My heart sank. He was actually going to do it. He was going to break up with me once and for all. I could _so_ tell. God, I was already on the verge of tears from just one sentence! Way to go, Jesse.

I somehow forced myself to remain calm and walked across the room to the window seat. We both sat down. "Go on," I said quietly.

I didn't want him to say anything. I wished he… oh, I don't know. There was nothing he could do to make this seem right.

"I…" Jesse looked down at the floor.

_See Jesse? _I thought. _You can't do it. You don't want to break up with me. So don't. Just forget about it._

"This is wrong, Susannah, I can't let it go on any longer."

"W- what?" I stuttered. I stared at him. How could he say that? That us being together was _wrong_? It was like Madam Zara said that time: Jesse was my one true love. I don't care how corny that sounds. He was the only right thing that was ever going to happen to me, and I _knew_ it. And now he was taking that away from me. How could he?

Jesse looked heart broken from his own words, "We both know that you need to be with someone alive."

I didn't though! What I needed was him! No one else, just Jesse… 

"Jesse, I told you! I don't care about that," I told him in a pathetically desperate attempt to change his mind. I just felt that I had to try and make him see that we _had_ to be together. Our relationship wasn't _wrong_. It just couldn't be.

Jesse still didn't look at me. "I know that," he said, "But it doesn't change anything. This is not going to work."

I remember Father Dominic telling me not to cry in front of Jesse. But how was I supposed to stop myself then? I was completely heart broken. I loved Jesse, and he was leaving me. I was going to be alone. Completely alone. For the rest of my life. Because this time when he left it was going to be for good.

What was I going to do?

Suddenly I couldn't stop myself any longer. The tears just came flooding out. Jesse finally looked at me. He seemed even more upset to see me crying. I could see in his face that he wanted to do something about it, but he felt he couldn't. I wanted to scream at him that he was wrong. He could take back everything he had just said.

But he wouldn't. I knew it.

I stood up and walked over to my bed, where I collapsed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Susannah," Jesse said, his voice full of pain, "you know this is for the best."

I shook my head and whispered, "It can't be Jesse. I love you. I don't want to be with anybody else but you."

Jesse didn't say anything and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I shouldn't have said that. There was no way Jesse was going to change his mind, and I was just making it worse. I couldn't help it, though. How was I supposed to live without Jesse?

"Susannah," Jesse said again.

I forced myself to look up at him. I couldn't see him properly anymore because of the tears that were clouding my eyes but I could tell from his voice that he was as miserable as I was. "I'm so sorry," he said.

I stayed silent. Well not silent because by this point I was making little sobbing noises, but I didn't say anything. I just shut my eyes in a useless attempt to stop the tears. And when I opened them he was gone.

And he wasn't coming back.

The room suddenly felt strangely empty. Was I ever going to see him again? What if he moved on? I hadn't even said goodbye. After everything we'd been through that was it. No goodbye or anything. And I'd never see him again.

"Jesse," I whispered as more tears escaped from my eyes. I turned over and buried my face in my pillow. "Jesse, come back. Please come back."

It sounded pathetic, but I felt as though I _needed_ him. And I suppose in a way it was true. Jesse had saved my life so many times. Whether I deserved it or not he'd always been there for me. I loved him so much. And now he was gone.

I stayed in my room all night. I didn't go down for dinner or anything. My mum came up to see what was wrong. She was upset that I wouldn't tell her, but what could I do? I couldn't tell her about Jesse. I think we all know where I'd end up if I told her that. So instead I just sobbed on to her shoulder and told her I didn't want to talk about it.

Andy brought up some food for me and my mum left with him. I ignored the tray he'd left next to my bed and lay down again. How could I even _think_ about eating at a time like this? Ugh! Did Jesse realise what he had done to me? If he really loved me he wouldn't leave because it was 'for the best'. He'd stay. And together we'd find a way for our love to work.

I'd wait for him, I decided. He'd come back. He had to.

**A/N: I decided to edit this chapter since I didn't like it much before. Hope you like it!**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own any of it.

For your love

Chapter two

It was ages before I could get to sleep that night. I was lying awake wishing with all my heart that I could just have a normal life where Jesse was alive and we could be happy couple. You know, the usual stuff I complain about not having. Only, after what happened earlier I now had no reason whatsoever to be pleased about being a mediator. Before I had Jesse to come home to after having my ass kicked by some ghost who just wouldn't move on. Now I had nothing.

So, you can probably guess that when I finally got to sleep after lying there for hours thinking about how much my life sucked I got way pissed off when somebody decided to wake me up.

I sat up and glared at the ghost standing in front of me. "This better be good," I told her dangerously.

The ghost –a pretty girl about my age- didn't look the slightest bit bothered by my threatening tone.

"So you're Suze then," She asked lazily as she looked around my room.

I looked at her suspiciously. The ghosts who come to me don't usually know my name and I was sure I had never seen her before. "Yeah," I said, "And you are?"

"Ellie," She replied. "I've heard quite a bit about you Suze."

I stared at her. She'd _heard_ stuff about me? "You have?" I asked, bewildered, "_Where_?"

Ellie glanced at me. "From Paul," She said nonchalantly. "He talks about you quite a lot you know."

I was getting more and more puzzled by the second, "He _does_?"

Ellie nodded, looking amused at how shocked I was from this piece of information. I was having trouble deciding whether I should be disgusted or pleased.

After a few seconds I got over it and asked, "What, are you a friend of his or something?"

I was relieved to see that she looked revolted at me even mentioning it. I really couldn't be doing with Paul's ghostly friends/minions right now.

"No!" Ellie spat. "I only overheard him because he has something I want. I was in his house waiting for him to leave so I could take it."

"Oh," I said. "Ok then. So, um... What's up then?"

"I need your help with something," she told me. Didn't they all? At least Ellie knew what she wanted me to do for her.

"Ok, shoot," I said.

"Right. Ok then, what would you say if I told you I knew how to bring Jesse back to life?"

I sat bolt upright and stared at her. Ok, first of all, how did she know who Jesse was? Did Paul talk about him too or something??? And second, did she just say what I thought she said?

Ellie laughed, "I thought that would get your attention."

She did.

Holy crap!!!!

"Can you?" I asked, "Can you really?"

"Sure I can, but I need you to do something for me first."

Of course there would be a catch.

"What is it?"

Ellie smiled, "You know that book I said Paul had before? The one I was trying to get off him."

I nodded. She hadn't actually mentioned a book but whatever.

"Well, Paul caught me before I could get it. He found out what I was after and got his minions to make sure I didn't get my hands on it. So that means I need you to get it for me. Understand?"

"I guess so. So is it somewhere in his room or something?" I asked.

"In that box he keeps all his shifter stuff in," Ellie told me.

"Right," I said. That sounded easy enough. Paul was probably dying to get me back in his room again. Er... not that I'm bragging or anything. "So, what about Jesse?"

"You get me that book and I'll explain it all. You probably want to get some sleep."

I shook my head. "I don't get it," I said, "most ghosts just expect me to do what ever they want no matter what it is. No one's ever bothered to do something in return for me before. So why are you?"

She looked at me as if the answer was obvious, "Because it will annoy the hell out of Paul, of course!"

I laughed, "That's true."

"Plus," Ellie added, "I was a shifter before I died, I know exactly how it feels to have ghosts come up to you all the time and have to do everything for them with nothing in return. I think you deserve a break."

I was surprised by this news; I had never met the ghost of a mediator or a shifter before. Well none that I know of. But before I could ask her anything about it she dematerialised.

Ok, that was weird. She could have given me a bit more info than that. I know she'd been a lot clearer than most ghosts I'd met but still, she wasn't making much sense. But then since when did the things ghosts wanted me to do for them ever make sense? Jesse- Oh my gosh! Jesse! There was a way for him to be alive! It had only just sunk in. This was fantastic! Who cares about Ellie not making sense? I had to get that book!

000

The next day at school I was just plain exhausted but I got straight to work on getting the book. The thing was I didn't have a clue what it looked like. What if Paul had a lot of books in that box? How was I supposed to know which one it was? I decided that I'd just have to sort that out when I came to it. First of all I had to find Paul.

It wasn't very hard. He came over to me at lunch asking if I was going to come to another of his shifter lessons. I only had one so far and I hadn't learnt much. Paul had just gone over the basics and seen what I already knew. He had kept off me but that didn't mean I trusted him. As if. There was no way I was going to trust him just because he'd gone an hour or so without trying anything.

I groaned. Hey, just because I had to go doesn't mean I wanted to. Plus I think Paul would have been a bit suspicious if I was suddenly all happy about having to spend time with him. Pleased, but suspicious. "I don't really have any choice in the matter though do I?" I said when he asked whether I was coming or not.

Paul grinned, "Not really. My place after school?"

"Whatever. Just make sure you keep your hands to your self ok?" I told him.

"Don't worry Suze. I've learnt my lesson after last time."

I seriously doubted that. Paul Slater is so not the type to be put off getting what he wants by me merely jabbing my thumb in his eye. Oh, if only it were that simple. Isn't the fact that I have to attend these stupid shifter lessons with him enough proof of that?

"Good," was all I said though.

"I'll meet you at the gates at three then?"

"Fine," I grumbled.

000

Ok, I _so_ didn't want to do this. I mean, what if Paul caught me looking through his stuff? Ellie said that Paul had caught her when she tried to find it and then he'd made sure she couldn't get to it again. What if he'd hidden it somewhere else? Or, even worse, what if I didn't even get the chance to look for it because he tried to kiss me again and then I had to run away. Either way, I wouldn't get the book. And then I wouldn't be able to bring Jesse back to life. And I'd be miserable forever.

_Just stop thinking about it,_ I told myself as we pulled up in front of Paul's grandfather's house. _Just go in and get that book no matter what. _

I must have looked pretty uncomfortable as I followed Paul to his bedroom because he turned to me with a grin and said, "Relax Suze. I'll behave this time, I promise."

"Whatever, Paul. Let's just get on with it ok?" I replied frostily.

When we got to his room Paul pulled out his box of shifter stuff and said, "I think I'll tell you about time travelling first."

Whoa! Time travelling? Was he serious?

I walked over to Paul and looked at the papers he had pulled out of the box. Well at least this was going to be interesting. That was something.

After a while I figured I might as well get Paul out of the room so I could start looking. The time travel thing had been interesting but right then getting the book was more important so I said to Paul, "Get me a glass of water, would you, Paul?"

Paul looked at me as if he was surprised by my interruption.

"Yeah, I get it Paul," I said, "We can go back in time to stop someone from dying. Now about that water? I'm mad thirsty."

I know, not the politest thing to say but since when had Paul been polite to me? Yeah, you got it: never. Well, I think so anyway. I can't be bothered to think of any times now so whatever.

Paul sighed, "Ok stay here, I'll be right back."

"Thanks," I said, grinning.

As soon as he left the room I started looking through all the papers he had in the box until I came to a large book. This was the one. It had to be; there weren't any other books in the box. It had been underneath lot of papers so hopefully Paul wouldn't notice straight away.

I heard footsteps outside the room so I quickly shoved the book into my bag just in time. Paul came in and handed the water to me.

"Thanks," I said again, relieved that he hadn't caught me.

I stayed for a bit longer so Paul wouldn't get suspicious but decided to leave as soon as I could. So at around five I told him I had to go home. And he took me. No fuss or anything.

When we got to my house I was surprised about how easy it had been. I had found the book with no problem at all, I was going to find out how to get Jesse's life back tonight and on top of all that Paul had kept his promise about keeping off me. Things were definitely looking good!

000

A/N: Yay! Thank you so much for the reviews! I don't know how long the next chapter's going to be but I've got all the chapters up to four written in my notebook they just need typing up and seriously improving. And on top of that I've finally decided how I'm going to end my other story, Growing on me, so I've got to sort that out but I promise I'll update ASAP. Anyway, on to review replies...

**da karategurl**- Don't worry it's not sad any more. Thanks for the review.

**UnangelicHalo**- I've updated! Er... obviously. Don't worry about me not continuing it though. It may take a long time because I don't usually update this fast but I will finish it I promise. Thanks for the review!

**Havana Luna-** I like sad stories too but I go mad if they don't have a happy ending. So you know this story's going to be ok in the end. And about the song it was Without You by Busted. It's off their first album so it's quite old but I listened to it not so long ago and realised that I just had to write that chapter. Then I thought of a plot and decided that instead of using it for a song fic I'd use it for the first chapter of this. Anyway thanks for reviewing I hope you enjoy the rest of it.

**JESSiEnESs- **Sorry about your mascara. But when I heard the song I used I needed to write it, I couldn't help myself. Thanks so much for reviewing.

**Caiti**, **reesespeices88**, **jesse's babe**, **Roomate153**, **Alyssa**, **johnnydepp88**- Thank you all so much! I'm really glad you liked it.

Now go press the funky button and tell me what you thought of this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns all the stuff from The Mediator.

For Your Love

Chapter three

I waited until after dinner to call Ellie. I didn't know what it was that we were going to have to do to bring Jesse to life but I knew I didn't want to be interrupted half way through it by Dopey saying that I had to come down. I was so excited about it all that it seemed like ages before I could finally go up to my room.

"Did you get it?" Ellie asked when I finally got a chance to call her.

I pulled the book out of my bag and held it out to her, "I think this is it."

She took the book and started flicking through it. I didn't get a proper look at it but from what I saw it was full of what I supposed were spells in foreign languages and a quite a few diagrams.

"I think so too," Ellie said with a grin. She found the page she was looking for and said, "It's supposed to be done in the same style as an exorcism."

I looked up from the book and narrowed my eyes. "An exorcism?" I said suspiciously. "No way. When you showed up here I knew there was something weird going on and this just proves it. How am I supposed to know that you aren't just trying to get me to help you exorcise Jesse?"

Ellie rolled her eyes and said, "Suze, just relax. You can trust me ok. I understand why you think I'm up to something but I have my reasons for helping you."

"And what are they exactly?" I asked. If she thought that a simple 'I have my reasons' was going to earn my trust then boy was she wrong.

"You'll see," she said, "But if you need proof then just look at the book does it say exorcisms anywhere? I don't think so."

I took the book from her and looked at the page she was pointing to. She was right, no exorcisms mentioned anywhere and the words that I needed to say for it to work were nothing like the ones involved in any of the exorcisms I'd preformed. I knew well that she could easily be still trying to fool me but I started to trust her again anyway. I don't know, I guess she seemed sincere. And, anyway, she was telling me what I wanted to hear wasn't she? So I went along with it.

"Alright then," I said handing the book back to her. "What were you saying?"

Ellie smiled, "Don't worry about it Suze if it all goes to plan then this time tomorrow you'll be with Jesse again and this time he'll be alive." I smiled too when she said that, it just sounded so wonderful. Even if I don't entirely trust Ellie it's got to be worth the risk. "We'll need some candles and instead of chicken blood we need some other stuff to make a sort of mixture that we can paint on the floor."

Ellie started reading through the page then frowned, "Oh."

"What?" I asked, starting to panic a little. What if this wasn't going to work after all? "What's wrong?"

"Don't worry," Ellie said reassuringly, "it's nothing you can't handle it'll just take longer than expected is all. It says here that to do it we'll need a bit of the person's blood."

I frowned and looked at the book in complete bewilderment, "What are you talking about Ellie? Jesse's dead, he doesn't have any blood. None that's real anyway."

"Obviously," Ellie said giving me an amused look. "But I don't mean from his ghost."

"Then what..." Suddenly it hit me. She meant what Paul had been telling me about before. She was talking about time travel. "You mean I have to go back to when he was alive?"

Ellie nodded, "And, er, get a bit of his blood."

The idea of going back in time and being able to see what Jesse was like before he died had seemed pretty cool at first but then Ellie just had to go and ruin it by pointing out how gross it was going to be. She must have noticed how disgusted I looked because then she went, "I know it's gross Suze but you'll just have to deal. It'll be worth it in the end after all."

I nodded. "I'll do it," I told her. "When can I go?"

"You'd better do it tonight," Ellie said. "The sooner the better. You know, in case Paul realises that his book has gone missing."

"You're right," I said. "So what do we do?"

Ellie flicked through the book and found the page on time travelling. She handed it to me and said, "Just say this incantation and think about where you need to go. Oh and you'll need to take a bottle or something as well."

I glanced around the room, still not quite over the initial grossness of it all, and saw an empty water bottle that I had been drinking from earlier.

"Will this do?" I asked, picking it up.

"Yeah, that's fine," Ellie replied. "You'll have to take the book with you to get back so I should probably write down the incantation in case I need to come after you."

"Right," I said and pulled some paper and a pen out of a drawer for her to use. "What about my clothes? Will I be wearing the same thing when I get there?"

Ellie looked down at my denim mini skirt, not exactly the height of eighteen-fifties fashion, "Er, you might want to change into a longer skirt. Just in case."

"Good point," I said, going over to my wardrobe and taking out a long black skirt. I held it up. "How about this?"

"That'll have to do," Ellie said and I went to change.

When I was done Ellie had finished writing down the incantation so I picked up the book an asked, "Is there anything else?"

"I don't think so," Ellie replied. Then she smiled at me and said, "Good luck."

"Thanks," I said then I took a deep breath and began to read the incantation out loud.

By the time I had completed the first line I was feeling a bit dizzy but I kept reading and concentrating on where (or when) I wanted to be. I just kept going, ignoring everything that was going on around me until for some completely unknown reason I stumbled and fell to the floor. The book fell shut next to me so I lost my page but that didn't matter because although I was still in my room I saw that it was very different. There was no pink, no canopy bed and no books and CDs lying around. It was just plain and old fashioned.

I grinned; it had worked.

I was in eighteen fifty.

--

A/N: Sorry it's so short but I need to do my homework now. So give me loads of reviews and I'll make the next chapter longer and better. And you know in the summary when I said that Paul would be getting in the way of Suze's plans? Well i'm not entirely sure about how he's going to do it. I've got one idea but it wouldn't make much of a story so if you could tgive me any ideas for that then I would be very grateful. Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter can you do it again please?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns everything from The Mediator not me.

For Your Love

Chapter 4

Before I could get over the difference in my room I heard footsteps outside.

"Ah," I heard an unfamiliar voice say, "This is your room Mr de Silva. I hope you enjoy your stay."

Crap! It was Jesse. He was about to come in and I wasn't even supposed to be here. I looked around in panic for somewhere to hide but all I saw was small wardrobe in the corner of the room and I did _not_ want to hide in there. It would be _way_ cramped. And who knew how long I would be in there?

Jesse's voice, thanking the man who had been speaking just before, snapped me out of my thoughts. The wardrobe would have to do. I just managed to scramble into it and shut the door behind me when I heard the door to the room open and Jesse step inside.

It was dark and uncomfortable in the wardrobe. There was a thin beam of light leaking in from the room between the crack in the doors but it only served to give me a clear view of my knees, everything else was black. I didn't want to think of any spider's webs- or, God forbid, actual spiders- that might be lurking up in the shadowy corners of the wardrobe.

I shuddered as a thought occurred to me. How was I supposed to get out of this mess? Seriously? And how long was I going to have to wait until I could get out of this stupid, cramped wardrobe?

I didn't have to wonder for much longer though because the wardrobe door suddenly opened and I saw Jesse (without the spectral glow!!!) staring down at me looking all hot and stuff. I seriously felt like I hadn't seen him in ages. Which I guess was pretty dumb and all seeing as he had been in my room only yesterday but whatever, here he was in the flesh, and I mean that literally, heartbeat and all. And this time I didn't have to worry about him breaking my heart or anything.

Except Jesse didn't seem too chuffed to see me. Not that I was surprised or anything. I mean, there I was, sitting in a wardrobe in the room he was staying in, wearing clothes from a completely different time period. I must have looked totally barmy! I'm sure you will agree that he had a perfectly good reason to look downright confused.

"Senorita," he said, "Why are you sitting in this wardrobe?"

Ok, how, exactly are you supposed to answer a question like that?

Remember when I said that I had the weirdest conversations? Well I'm petty sure that this just proves it.

"Um," I said, "You know, that's a good question. I was, um, just... checking it out for you."

Seriously. That's what I said. Jesse just looked completely baffled. And why not? I had just told him I was checking out his wardrobe for him. Did he even know what 'checking it out' meant? I seriously doubted it. I mean if he hadn't picked it up after living with me for all those months then I really couldn't see him being too clued in on modern lingo when he was still in eighteen fifty.

"Yeah..." I said getting up, "So, you know, if you ever need some where to hide or anything then you probably shouldn't use that wardrobe. It didn't really do a very good job."

You know that babbling problem I have? Well I think it must have developed into just talking utter nonsense or something, because that's what it sounded like. Was it even me speaking? Because apart from the seeing dead people thing I've always believed that I am reasonably sane.

I decided to shut up and get out of there before I could humiliate myself any more. Only before I could make it to the door Jesse grabbed my arm and went, "Wait."

I turned around, utterly shocked that he hadn't run away screaming or anything yet. Well actually I wasn't too shocked that he wasn't screaming (now that would have been scary) but I thought he would have at least started to back out of the room by now. "Yes?" I said.

"Who were you hiding from?" Jesse asked.

I was relieved that he hadn't believed me- I mean, I'd have been worried about _his_ mental health too if he had bought it and everything- but annoyed that he had to go and ask me another question to which my answer would probably end up being completely ridiculous.

"No one," I told him. Which I guess was a bit better than last time it was still ridiculous, of course, because why would I be hiding from no one? But whatever.

"I find that hard to believe," Jesse said.

"I know," I said, "But it's a long story so you probably don't want to hear it. I'll just go."

I walked out of the room wondering what on earth I could do now. I'd have to wait until Jesse was asleep before I could get his blood (ew that just sounds _wrong. _Why me? Why couldn't it just be some other poor schmuck?) I mean, I could hardly just run up to him and stab him could I. Imagine what would happen then when I moved into my bedroom. Jesse would be like, oh look there's that psycho who tried to kill me back in eighteen fifty. And I'd be all, what are you doing in my bedroom? Get out, and then he'd be like, ok then. And I'd be all smug because I'd just got rid of a ghost by telling him to get lost but the horrible truth would be that I'd just watched my one true love dematerialise out of my life.

I'm telling you, this time travel business is dangerous.

After a few seconds I realised that Jesse was talking to me. I turned around and saw that he had followed me into the corridor. Perhaps I _should_ be worried about his mental health. After all, I'm pretty sure that if somebody who acted like I had just done I'd be pleased that they were leaving. Not that I was bothered by him following me. No, I was flattered that he didn't mind spending time with some crazy girl who was hiding in the wardrobe in his hotel room. I'm pretty sure that this just proves that we're meant to be.

I decided to let him know that I wasn't really crazy, you know, just in case, so I said, "Just so you know, I'm perfectly aware that everything I've just told you is complete rubbish and, believe it or not, I'm not as utterly bonkers as you might have originally thought."

I wasn't entirely sure if he'd understood a word of what I'd said to him but he gave me this funny smile and said, "I see."

He paused for a few seconds then went, "May I ask your name?"

Aw, so polite. That's my Jesse!

"Susannah Simon," I told him smiling brightly then asked just to be polite, "And you?"

"Jesse de Silva," he replied as we started walking out of the house. I don't know where we were going exactly, I guess I was just walking and Jesse was following.

"Do you live around here?" Jesse asked after a while.

"No," I said, "I'm, er... travelling."

"So, are you staying here then?"

"No, I'm, um, not actually staying anywhere."

Jesse started looking confused again. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I, um, you see..." Think, Suze, think, "Somebody stole my money so I can't afford a room," I said finally.

"Oh," Jesse said, looking concerned, "they did not harm you did they?"

"Nah. I'm fine," I told him, pleased that he was so concerned; it was sweet. "The wimps just snatched it off me and ran off. Sensible of them though, if they'd stuck around then I'd have taught them not to mess with me."

Jesse looked like he wasn't sure whether to be shocked or amused at my attitude. I'd forgotten that women didn't really act like this in the nineteenth century

"What exactly would you do to them then?" He asked.

"I don't know really," I said and Jesse shook his head.

"You certainly are unusual, Miss Simon," he told me with a grin.

I didn't take offence or anything at this. It _was_ the truth after all, so I just said, "Call me Susannah."

Jesse smiled, "Then you may call me Jesse."

"Cool," I replied, smiling at how funny my modern slang sounded after Jesse's formality.

"Well, Susannah," He said, still smiling, "We cannot have you staying on the streets. I will give you the money to get a room here tonight."

I stared at him. I mean, I know Jesse's nice and all but I was a complete stranger who acted like a loony and here he was giving money to me and actually wanting to spend time with me, when, a year or so ago, back in Brooklyn, I was lucky if a guy even spoke to me civilly. "Oh, would you?" I said, "That is so sweet! Thank you."

"You are very welcome," Jesse told me.

We walked in silence for a while which just confused me more. Sure, he didn't seem to have anyone else to hang out with but I doubt his first impression of me was that great. So why not give me the money then send me packing and find someone sane to talk to? Not that I wanted him to. As if. No, it was just weird is all.

When I asked him this he just laughed and said, "Why would I do that? I like you Susannah, you are a very interesting person."

I was chuffed. Seriously. I didn't know I was interesting. I mean, yeah, my life was hardly boring. I was, after all, in the eighteen fifties, people! And then there's the whole seeing dead people thing. It's hard to forget about that. But me- as in my personality- interesting? That was something I hadn't been too sure about.

"Thanks," I said, beaming and Jesse laughed.

"You're welcome."

We carried on walking for a bit then Jesse said "So, Susannah, where are you from? Or am I not going to be able to get a straight answer off you?"

I thought this was kind of ironic seeing as Jesse's usually the one who won't say anything about himself and I always complained about it but now I'm the one who's doing it. It wasn't like I could tell him the truth though was it? I had to think up a lie. And a convincing one this time.

"I live about a day from here," I told him. "I'm visiting someone."

"Who are you travelling with?" Jesse asked.

"No one," I replied foolishly.

Jesse was horrified; "You travelled all this way on your own?"

"Yes," I said a bit defensively. Trust him to bring that up. We were getting along great then he has to go all sexist on me. I reminded myself that he was born in the nineteenth century and he didn't know any better then said, "I can take care of myself, you know."

"Oh yes, like you did with the people who stole your money?" he asked sarcastically.

This was so typical, we'd only just met (from Jesse's point of view anyway) and already we were arguing about me not being able to take care of my self. And on top of that, we were arguing about a _lie_! I seriously need to think up some better lies for next time I need one.

"I'm still in one piece aren't I?" I asked him, deeply offended.

"I know," Jesse said seriously. "But you are lucky you were not hurt. It is not safe for women to travel alone."

I seriously hated it when Jesse got like this. "It's those dresses we're supposed to wear," I told him, trying not to sound too annoyed. "How is anybody supposed to defend themselves with those things on? I'm telling you, petticoats are a health and safety hazard. They should all be burned!"

Jesse couldn't stay angry with me after that he just laughed and said, "You really are unlike anybody I have ever met."

I wasn't too sure how to take that. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked, confused.

Jesse smiled at me, "I think it is a good thing."

I grinned and unable to think of anything better to say I went, "Cool!"

This felt great, he hardly knew me and he was already starting to like me.

I was so chuffed that I didn't even realise that him liking me already might not me such a good thing after all.

--

A/N: Thanks for the suggestions they were good and I might use them if I can get them to fit but what I really needed ideas for was after Suze got back from the past because I've already planned what's going to happen up until there.

Anyway, thank you all for the reviews they were all wonderful and I hope I'll get the same type of feedback for this chapter too.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Meg Cabot. Well obviously not the whole story because Meg would have done a much better job of it but all the characters and stuff is hers.

For Your Love

Chapter 5

We carried on talking for hours. Jesse told me all about his sisters which was cool seeing as he'd never spoken about them to me before. I told him a bit about myself but didn't say anything that would sound too weird.

It was great to just have a normal conversation with Jesse with no mention of Paul or the latest ghosts that were giving me grief. And the best bit was that there was no awkwardness between us. That had been a rare thing ever since our first kiss. Sure, things had gotten better after we officially got together but I know now that Jesse had never actually been comfortable with our relationship. The way he left me was enough proof of that.

But for now we didn't have to worry about any of that and it was wonderful. I really didn't want it to end but eventually Jesse went, "We should probably go in."

"Just a bit longer," I said, staring at the ocean as it glistened in the moonlight, "I like it here and we have to leave tomorrow."

I knew Jesse was right as it was getting cold out and I hadn't thought to bring a jacket or anything with me but I was enjoying myself and I knew that when I had done what I came here to do I'd have to face Paul. What if he had already realised that his book was gone? I'd been planning to slip it into his bag at school and just hope he wouldn't figure out what I'd done. But if he found out about it then he would totally get in the way.

"I know," Jesse said softly, "fine, just a little bit longer then."

He paused for a minute then said, "It's a shame that we might not see each other after tomorrow."

I looked at him and said, "You never know, we might."

For once I could actually read Jesse's expression, he was sad. Sad that I had to leave. Me, Susannah Simon, who he had known for a matter of hours. I was thrilled he actually cared. Only then I realised that this really wasn't something to be thrilled about. When I left it was going to be one hundred and fifty years before Jesse saw me again. And when he did see me I wouldn't even recognise him. How horrible would that be? Trust me to end up doing something like this. No wonder Jesse dumped me. Paul should just leave me alone before it's too late and I end up seriously hurting him too. Not that that would be such a bad thing but whatever, either way works for me.

Jesse was about to say something when I heard someone cough behind us. I turned around and to my horror Paul was standing there. Which was way creepy since I had just been thinking about him. I thought it was only Jesse who came (or used to anyway) when I thought about him. But that was only because Jesse was a ghost and Paul was looking pretty much alive at that point. But anyway there he was, standing behind us, looking totally out of place in all his modern clothing. It was actually kind of funny to think that Jesse, in his cowboy/pirate outfit, was the fashionable one out of us for once- oh my God what am I talking about? Paul follows me into 1850 and all I can think about is how stupid we must look.

Yes, my priorities are seriously messed up; it's no secret.

Now, back to a slightly more important issue...

"Paul," I squeaked, "what are you doing here?"

"Just checking up on you," he said with a smirk.

"Really?" I said wishing there was some way I could get rid of him, because I know for a fact that you don't travel one hundred and fifty years back in time to 'just check up' on someone. Paul was up to something. "Well, I'm fine," I continued, "So you can go now."

Paul seemed amused. "And leave you here?" He asked, "I don't think so. Who knows what trouble you could get into."

I could see that by now Jesse was looking seriously confused. "Susannah, who is this?" He asked, "I thought you said you were here alone."

"I did," I replied, "Paul must have followed me that's all." I turned to Paul; "I'm not leaving with you so you can just forget about that. Now tell me what you want then get lost."

Paul grinned at me and said, "I just thought you should know that what you are doing is pointless."

"What?" I asked sharply.

"I know what you took my book for, Suze, and I'm telling you now that it's not going to work."

No, I couldn't believe this. I had really thought that Jesse and I could finally be together and now Paul was telling me that it wasn't true. "And why is that?" I asked hesitantly.

"Because I'm not going to let it work."

That totally did _not_ make me feel any better. Sure, it meant that there was nothing wrong with the spell and there was still a chance that it would work but let's face it, despite the fact that I was starting to get over the events in the shadowland when Jesse and I were stuck there, Paul still scared me sometimes. And this was one of those times. I mean, there he was telling me to my face that he was going to sabotage my only chance at ever being with Jesse. Why does my life have to suck so much?

"Well I'd better be going now," _Why, more lives to go ruin eh Paul?_ I thought bitterly. "You coming Suze?"

I didn't move so Paul went, "Fine by me," then walked off.

Why do all these bad things have to happen to me? As if my life isn't already screwed up enough.

"Susannah?" I turned to Jesse and he asked, "What was he talking about? Are you all right?"

"It doesn't matter," I told him, "you wouldn't understand."

Jesse looked at me for a minute while I just wondered if my life could possibly get any worse then he reached out and wiped a tear of my face. Yes, I admit it I was crying, only a little though. Who can blame me anyway after everything that's happened to me recently?

Jesse said, "Don't cry Susannah. I'm sure everything will be alright."

Which only made me feel worse because everything wasn't going to be all right, for either of us. Jesse looked at me sadly. Ugh! This was terrible why couldn't I have just jumped onto the porch roof and got out that way when I heard him coming? The fact that he saw me was going to change the future and what if something bad happened because of it? See, I am such a loser! I can't even go back in time with out messing things up. Father Dom was always going on about how I'm always getting myself into trouble and -

Only then I kind of forgot about the stuff Father Dom has said because Jesse leaned in and kissed me.

A/N: And that's where my inspiration just runs out. Well for this chapter anyway because I think I've got the basic plot for the story. The thing is I'd already written this chapter and when I read over it I just didn't like it that much so I changed it and stuck Paul in there for a bit of fun. Only then I couldn't think of what was going to happen next so I'm just leaving it for now seeing as I've already taken quite a while on this chapter and I'll have a think then hopefully update soon as it's half term right now (Yay!). Anyway, as usual, thanks for the reviews. More please?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the mediator!

For your love

Chapter 6

It was only a short kiss but it was enough to make me think that maybe I wasn't being so evil after all. Which, of course, was utter crap because it was evil. I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear. I couldn't help it though Jesse was _kissing_ me! My brain wasn't functioning properly and I really didn't know any better.

Anyway as I said the kiss didn't last long and when Jesse pulled away he –in typical Jesse fashion- went and apologised. And seeing as I hadn't quite recovered from the kiss and my brain was still part goo, I went, "What are you apologising for Jesse?" Which, now I think about it, isn't all that bad, I mean, if he likes me then it's too late to change any thing, right? So I would only be making things worse by pretending I'm not madly in love with him wouldn't I?

Or am I just doing that telling myself what I want to hear thing again?

Whatever. Anyway, Jesse was all, "I shouldn't have done that."

Which was complete nonsense. Or was it? Oh, I don't know any more! That's what I was thinking at the time though. That it was nonsense, I mean. So then I was like, "But I'm glad you did."

It was like that word vomit thing from Mean Girls, you know? I totally couldn't control it.

And then, just as I was thinking, _oh shitsticks, when am I going to learn to control my big mouth? _Jesse kissed me again and my goo-like state returned full force. Instantly everything was perfect. Well that's what it felt anyway because really everything was far from perfect. But with Jesse I could just forget about Paul and his fixation with trying to ruin my life. For now it didn't matter.

Eventually we broke apart and Jesse smiled down at me kind of sadly.

"It's late," he said, "We should get some sleep if we are going to be travelling tomorrow."

I nodded, in a sort of daze, and we stood and headed back to the house.

"I am sure we will meet again some day Susannah," Jesse said, looking down at me.

Suddenly it all came back to me. We would meet again, in one hundred and fifty years. I felt like crying. I really did. How could I have let this happen?

Jesse must have picked up on the fact that I was suddenly very depressed because he stopped and put his hands on my shoulders then said, sounding very determined, "We _will_ see each other again."

Fighting back tears, I nodded, "I know."

We reached the house and Jesse got me a room. Right before we went into them Jesse said, "I will see you tomorrow before I leave wont I?"

I nodded glumly. It was a lie, of course, but what else was I supposed to do?

Jesse smiled, "Well," he said, "good night _querida_."

"Good night Jesse," I replied and with a forced smile I went into my room.

A/N: I'm sorry it's so short but this was supposed to be part of the last chapter I just couldn't think how to end it last time. Thank you to UnangelicHalo and DancinSweethart for being the only reviewers of the last chapter. Love ya! And don't worry about the changing the future thing I've got it all sorted.

Review!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns all the stuff from The Mediator.

For your love

Chapter 7

I waited an hour before I went back to Jesse's room. Fortunately, he was asleep by then. I was still going through with this, of course. While I was waiting I'd had a chance to think about all this, and I'd decided that I wasn't going to let what Paul had said bother me. After all, I had Ellie on my side didn't I? At least I hoped so; I still wasn't one hundred percent sure on whether or not she was trustworthy. But like I said before, I was just going to have to give her the benefit of the doubt and go with what I wanted to believe on this one. Anyway, she seemed to know her stuff about shifting, so if I did have her help then what was the worst Paul could do?

When I went into Jesse's room (or mine, whatever you want to call it) and at first I just looked at him. It was weird seeing Jesse sleep, since, as a ghost, he didn't need to. Just as I was walking towards him I saw a flash of light out of the corner of my eye.

"Hey Ellie," I said, not really surprised to see her since she'd said she might show up.

Ellie wasted no time with greetings. "You need to hurry up, Suze," She told me.

I gave her a confused look, "Why?"

"Paul knows," She explained. "He came after you. Didn't you see him?"

"Yeah, I did, but why do I have to hurry? Can't we just go back to just a little bit after we left?" I hoped that made sense, it sounded a little bit confusing.

"Things are a little bit more complicated now Suze. In case you haven't notice he took the book with him, we need to get it back."

The book! I'd forgotten all about it with the whole seeing-Jesse-when-he-was-alive thing and I'd left it in here.

"Suze," Ellie said, "stop daydreaming. Let's just get what we came for and go. Here I brought this with me."

She handed me a knife then went to pick up the bottle, which I'd left on the floor earlier. I stepped up to the bed where Jesse was sleeping and looked down at him.

"What if he wakes up?" I asked Ellie as she handed me the bottle.

Ellie looked at Jesse then said, "Don't worry about it. I've got it sorted. Now get on with it."

I took a deep breath and picked up Jesse's hand, then dropped it again, "Ew, I can't do it. It's too gross."

I've never been particularly squeamish, in my experience the mediating business tends to involve a lot of bloodshed, and I've never actually been bothered about it. But this was different; it was just, I don't know... ugh! You know?

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Oh for Pete's sake!" She grabbed the knife from me and sliced it across Jesse's hand. It was like on Pirates of the Caribbean when they keep trying to undo the curse. I always hated those bits because I couldn't help thinking how irritating it would be to have a big cut like that on your hand. Not fun. Ellie then held up the empty water bottle and let the blood trickle into it while I just concentrated on not throwing up and stuff.

When she was done she put the lid back on the bottle and ripped a strip of material off the sheet on the bed. She wrapped the material around Jesse's cut then said, "Come on, we better get going."

I nodded and took hold of the hand Ellie offered to me. She took a sheet of paper out of her pocket and began to read from it. As I got one last look of the 1850s Jesse I smiled. Hopefully it wouldn't be long now before we could finally be together. I soon got that dizzy feeling from the time travelling then suddenly I was back in my room, in my own time. I let go of Ellie's hand and sat on my bed.

"So what now?" I asked.

"We need to get that book back off Paul. He also took some other things that we're going to need."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" I asked. I _so_ did not want to go back to Paul's house.

"I don't know," Ellie said. "I can't go and get them, he'll be expecting that."

"What good is me going instead going to do?"

"None. We need to think of some sort of plan."

I couldn't believe it Paul had done it. He'd beaten us already and we'd barely even begun. I could just see him now sitting there, looking all smug, with that stupid book of his. I was seriously pissed off with him right then. So, even though I was perfectly aware that it wasn't going to do anything but make me angrier, I picked up my phone and dialled Paul's number.

--

A/N: I'll make the next chapter longer. I promise.

PisxiePam: I updated! Obviously. I don't know whether it was soon or not, I can't remember, which suggests that it wasn't soon. But whatever I'm here now aren't I? Thanks for the review.

Flonshoe: That's ok. It's that you read it then reviewed that one that counts. So thanks.

DancinSweethart: So now you know. Thanks for reviewing.

Star: Thanks. I'm glad you like it.

Dark-Killer: Ok I updated, so don't kill me or anything dude.

Mystique Angelique: I think I got the commas right this time but do you think you could give me an example of what I was doing wrong? Just to make sure. Thanks for the review.

Review!


	8. Chapter 8

For your love

Chapter 8

"Hello?" Paul said.

I didn't bother with formalities. "Paul, give me my things back," I said calmly.

I could just see Paul's cocky grin at those words. Bleh! Stupid Paul! Why did he have to be right about beating me?

"Suze!" he said in a bright voice that made me want to knock his teeth out. He'd think twice about grinning at me the way I knew he was then wouldn't he? "So you're back then. Have fun?"

"Paul I'm not messing, you'd better have those things in school tomorrow or I'll…" I trailed off, unsure of how to end that sentence. I doubted that there was much anyone could say to make Paul Slater feel threatened.

Paul chuckled in an annoying Paul-ish way that made my blood boil, "Or what, Suze? What are you going to do to me if I don't give them back?"

This was, of course, extremely annoying because I really didn't have a clue what I was going to do to him. "It'll be bad," I told him. "Seriously, you'll be sorry you ever messed with me."

"I'm sure I will," Paul said mockingly. The guy was making fun of me! He was lucky we were on the phone because no one makes fun of Suze Simon and gets away with it.

Except Paul Slater it seemed.

It was strange how back in my old school, where I got teased mercilessly, nobody did get away with it. But with Paul it's different. I guess I'm kind of scared about how he'd react if I did slug him. Paul seems kind of unpredictable.

"Just do it," I said in the same voice Kelly uses when she wants her own way.

What good that was supposed to do, I really don't know, Paul just went, "You don't seem to mind taking my things though, do you Suze So why can't I take yours?"

"Fine then, I forgive you for taking my things but you've got your book back now so can you just give me my things back?"

"Hmm," Paul said, "No."

I nearly screamed with frustration, why was he being so childish? "Ugh! What is wrong with you Paul? Do you think this will make me like you or something? Because, hello! It's not working!"

Paul was silent a second then he said, "Just look at it this way Suze, say you bring Jesse back to life then go and live happily ever after. What good does that do me?"

That one was easy. "None whatsoever but if you're really lucky then there is a slight chance that I won't hate you quite as much as I do now," I told him.

You'd think that would get the point across wouldn't you? I mean, if someone told me that they hated me then I'd just hate them back. It's the normal thing to do!

Only Paul must be telling himself that one day I'll realise that he's the one I really love and I'll forget about Jesse and go running to him. Well I'll Just have to help him out of that little world of delusion he's trapped himself in because that is so not going to happen.

Not that I thought a simple 'I hate you' was going to do the trick. I mean, this is Paul Slater we're talking about. This guy only hears what he wants to hear. If he doesn't like something then it's just 'blah, blah, blah' to him.

So instead of taking me up on this marvellous offer (the one were I don't hate him as much) he just said, "You don't hate me Suze."

I felt like tearing my hair out at this point. But I didn't because it looked really nice today. Not to mention the fact that it would be really gross and painful. I totally wasn't going to let Paul push me that far. He is so not worth it.

Anyway, instead of ruining my gorgeous locks I just said in as calm a voice as I could manage, "Trust me Paul, I do hate you. Very much. So save your breath and stop trying to convince me otherwise."

I hope Paul took that in because I really was fed up of trying to get the point across.

I guess he did understand what I was saying though, since next time he spoke he sounded angry.

"So I'm supposed to listen to you assuring me of how much you hate me then do whatever you say?"

He had a good point. But I had a better one.

I hoped.

"Oh right, so I'm supposed to pretend I love you then? Because it really doesn't make sense to me. We both know the only reason I'm doing this is because I want to be with Jesse."

Don't even bother asking why I hadn't hung up already. I have no idea myself. I mean, it was obvious that the conversation was going nowhere. But it's a good job I did keep listening.

"Ok then," Paul said, "Say I do give you the things you need and the ritual works. What makes you think that just because Jesse would be alive he'd be safe? If I can get rid of him when he's dead I can get rid of him when he's alive."

I couldn't believe it. Why was he doing this? He says he cares about me so why do something so hateful?

"You'd really do that?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from trembling. "You'd really kill him?"

I didn't know what to think. Paul's not perfect, I'm aware of that but this was terrible. Exorcising ghosts and stuff like that is one thing but murder is another thing entirely. Would he really do something like that?

I probably don't need to tell you that Paul didn't seem to care a bit about how all this made me feel.

"I could kill him," Paul told me sounding as if he was enjoying this, "but I was thinking of something a bit more interesting.

"Like what?" I couldn't stop my self from asking that. Even though I was positive I didn't want to know the answer.

"Oh, I can think of a few things but I guess you'll just have to wait and see."

When I didn't say anything he asked, "So do you still want your things back?"

I hung up, unable to answer.

I turned to Ellie who was sitting on my bed.

"This is bad," I told her.

OoO

A/N: Bonsoir ma petite pals! Oui, I'm finally back with another chappie. Sorry I took forever. I've been working on Regrets (it's a P/S fic but it's not that bad so go read it). Jesse's back next chapter, so that's something for you all to look forward to but meanwhile reviews would be nice.


	9. Chapter 9

**For your love**

**Chapter 9**

I didn't even bother calling him. Jesse, I mean. What was the point? I call him and he's supposed to just show up without question after he only just dumped me? I wish!!! Besides, if he were going to show up, he'd be here by now. That's the thing with Jesse; he tends to show up when all I've done is _think_ about calling him.

Or at least he used to. After the whole dumping me thing? Yeah, not so much.

I really needed to talk to him, though. It's not like I could actually go through with this without asking him what _he _wanted. This was _his _life, after all. I couldn't decide for him, not with all Paul's threats. It wasn't my place. I mean, how much would it suck for him if he finally got his life back, and _poof,_ it was gone again? Yeah, how about, _a lot?_

Surprisingly though, when I asked Ellie what she thought about the whole thing, she said not to worry about it! Like _this_ wasn't something I needed to worry about! Oh no! Don't worry about _that_ Suze. It's only a _life and death matter_ for your (would be) boyfriend!!!

Nope, nothing to worry about there.

But apparently Ellie's got it all under control. Not that she'd actually tell me _how_ she had it under control. No, she couldn't possibly do _that_ now, could she? Does she actually think a simple 'you'll see' will make me feel any better?

Damn those ghosts and their crypticness!!!

So anyway, Ellie said she'd fill both Jesse and me in after I'd spoken to him. Then she just went and dematerialised.

And this girl claimed to know how I feel. I am so sure.

I decided that the best way to get Jesse to come to me was for me to get Father D to ask him to. After all, if Jesse wouldn't listen to Father Dom, then who would he listen to?

I picked up the phone and dialled the number for the rectory. After a few rings he picked up and I went, "Father Dom, it's Suze! Listen, I really need to speak to Jesse. Can you tell him to come over? Because he'll listen to you. And It's totally urgent!"

I was quite proud of my plan. I was totally expecting to be talking to Jesse in no time flat. And then we'd get to hear from Ellie about how everything was going to be all right. Only then, Father had to go and ruin it by not co-operating. "I'm sorry Susannah. I know that you miss Jesse but you must understand that you are making this harder-"

That was something I totally did _not_ need to hear right then.

"Yes, I know that. But this is really really important. So if you could just tell him it's about Paul…"

That would get him over here. I knew it would. Now, if I could just get Father D to tell him.

"What about Paul? Maybe I could help."

"Trust me Father D," I said, "you can't. So can you _please_ get Jesse for me? I really wouldn't ask if it wasn't an emergency."

I guess he was thinking about it because he didn't say anything for a while. Then he said, "Alright then. But it had better be important because-"

You wouldn't think I had just spent like the entire phone call telling him this would you?

"Yeah, I know," I interrupted, "I'm just 'making it harder for him than it already is'."

I waited for a while for Father D to ask him, half expecting him to come back and tell me that Jesse refused to see me. But, to my surprise, about a minute later Jesse materialised right next to me. Father D came back to the phone and I thanked him then hung up.

"Susannah, are you alright? What has Slater done?"

Jesse was looking very worried about my well being for someone who had just dumped me, but I actually thought it was very sweet. The being worried part, I mean. Not the dumping me part.

I smiled, "I'm fine. I just really need to talk to you, that's all."

Jesse looked relieved but then he said, "About what?" looking slightly unsure about whether or not he should stay.

Gee, thanks Jesse. Am I not worth it unless I'm hurt or something? That's what I was thinking, but, of course, I didn't say it out loud. What I said was, "It's… just…" then I sat down, not really sure on how to continue. "You might want to sit down," I told him, "It's a long story."

Jesse gave me one last unsure look then sat down on the window seat. I hugged my knees wondering how he was going to take this. Well, there was only one way to find out…

I started off with when Ellie first came to me, and then told him everything from there. And do you know what? I think I actually managed to talk with pauses between each word. I'd made an extra effort to make my speech understandable. I totally did not need to have Jesse laughing at me this time. And he didn't. His face was completely expressionless. As usual. So I wasn't sure how he was taking all of it.

When I had finished the room went silent for a few seconds then Jesse said, his voice giving no more away than his face, "Why didn't you tell me before now?"

I wasn't actually expecting anything more than that to tell you the truth. What are you supposed to say to something like what I'd just told him? Other than 'Why didn't you tell me sooner?' I mean.

A kiss would have been nice though.

"Um," I said, "When exactly? This is the only chance I've had to tell you. The idea was to get this finished before Paul found out."

Jesse didn't say anything. I guess he was kind of shocked from what I'd told him. I don't blame him really.

"This is what you want isn't it?" I asked, just to be sure. I mean, it was up to Jesse, after all, not me.

I needn't have bothered, though. Jesse looked completely shocked that I'd asked. "Of course it is!" he came over and sat next to me then said, "How can you even doubt that?"

I looked down at my knees. I hadn't wanted to, like, offend him or anything. "I don't know. I guess it's just, you know, because of yesterday…"

I looked up slowly until my gaze met with his. He was giving me a kind of sad look. I think mine must have matched. I mean, you'd be sad too if you found out a way to bring your dead boyfriend back to life and then someone told you that they were going to stop it from happening. I guess Jesse must have been feeling the same way, only from his point of view, not mine.

"Susannah," he whispered. He lifted up a hand and gently touched my cheek, making my skin tingle. Then, in a voice as soft as his touch he said, "I love you."

Just like that.

I was surprised to realise that this was the first time he'd said those words. We'd both known it but had never actually admitted it to each other. Well before last night in my case.

But for some reason, it didn't make me feel any better. The fact that he's just properly admitted his feelings for me didn't change anything. We could love each other all we wanted, but if we couldn't get this to work then we could never actually be together. And we both knew it. Jesse put his arms around me and I rested my head on his chest, tears beginning to well up in my eyes.

After sitting like that for a few minutes Jesse said, "Querida, we have to go for it."

I looked up at him, startled, "But what if-"

"Then I'll just be a ghost again," He said, as if he thought it was simple as that.

"But-"

"I can't move on, querida, not while you're here. We have to give it a try."

I just looked at him for a few seconds, and then I nodded.

**A/N: I have no excuse for taking so long with this chapter. But I'm really sorry. I'll try and update faster in future.**

**I don't really feel well right now. I was off all week with a really bad cold, then I came into school (still not feeling well, might I add) and I had to have TWO injections!!!! The nurse didn't even think I was sick enough to not have it (I'll show her after I die in hockey tomorrow). It's not fair that one little prick that hardly hurt when I had it done can kill so much a few hours later. It's on the side I sleep on and all. I feel sorry for the lefties.**

**Anyway, so now I've done ranting I'll thank my reviewers:**

**Angel From Fairyland: Lol. Are you better now? I'm sure they'll all be fine. I don't really know what's going to happen after this. I've got the basic outline of the story worked out but I had all the chapters up to halfway through this one written in a note pad. Now I've got to start the rest of the chapters from scratch. And I'm not really sure what's going to happen in them. Just bare with me. And keep reviewing!**

**Flonshoe: I hope the suspense wasn't that bad. You know, with me taking so long and all. Oh well, I'm back now. Thanks for the review!**

**Chloe: That review really confused me, you know. Oh well, keep reading. And reviewing.**

**Moi: Thank you. Sorry for taking so long though.**

**DancinSweethart: Hmm… he is a meanie isn't he? But I love him anyway. Keep reading!**

**Emily: Aww that is so nice!!! Thank you. Although there is a lot that could be improved, it's just the stuff that I'm not very good at. So I'm glad you like it the way it is.**

**RidgelandHater: True, he was being evil but he doesn't suck. He's sound. Sound as a pound. Er.. ignore me…**

**Sweet-shortey: beams Thank you. I'm glad you like it so much. Keep reading.**

**Nikki007: Thanks! Keep reading.**

**Review!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**For your Love**

Chapter 10 

I had another nightmare that night.

I hadn't had one in so long that I'd thought they'd stopped now. Only, when I went to sleep that night I was right back in Shadowland, running through the thick fog.

I was terrified. I just wanted to get out, but when I tried to shift nothing happened. The fog just kept getting thicker and I didn't have a clue what to do.

Jesse! He'd help me!

Only, when I called him he wouldn't come. I felt tears begin to prickle at the back of my eyes as I ran. Why wasn't he coming? Why wasn't he there when I was so scared?

Suddenly I skidded to a halt.

Paul Slater was standing in front of me.

A sick smirk that turned my whole body to ice crept slowly onto his face.

Then the floor disappeared beneath me. And Paul just kept smirking as I fell.

When my eyes snapped open Jesse's face was the first thing I saw, something I found rather surprising.

"Susannah," he said, looking concerned, "are you alright?"

I sat up, trying to slow down my breathing. I was all sweaty. Trust Jesse to be here now. I must have looked _sooo_ attractive to him.

"Jesse," I looked at him, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"You called me," He replied.

That one didn't help the confusion much.

"Um, Jesse? In case you hadn't noticed, I was asleep just then. How could I have called you?"

Jesse shook his head. "Never mind that now," he said. "You were just having a nightmare. Are you alright?"

The nightmare slowly came back to me. I shivered slightly as I remembered Paul and that corridor.

I shifted over in my bed and Jesse sat down next to me. He put his arm around me and I leaned on his chest.

"I'm ok really," I said. "I'm just a little worried about what Ellie said before."

Jesse's grip around my shoulders tightened slightly, he looked down at me and said, "You'll be fine. Slater won't harm you. I'll make sure of that."

I nodded but I wasn't quite so convinced. In fact, I was terrified. Why else would I be having nightmares again? There seemed to be only one reason for it all. And that was what Ellie had told Jesse and me earlier.

She came back a few minutes after the little talk I'd had with Jesse and she explained everything like she'd promised she would. She was a bit reluctant about telling us anything at first, but we both got her to talk eventually.

I'm still not to sure whether or not it would have been better if she hadn't said anything.

Paul. I'd known he was evil all along. Well since the Shadowland incident anyway. And I'd had no idea how right I was.

Ellie explained it all: how she knew Paul, why she seemed to hate him so much. And if I wasn't scared of Paul before then I certainly was now.

He'd killed her. He'd actually _killed_ her.

This wasn't anything like an exorcism, or a threat, or even leaving someone stranded in Shadowland. He'd actually got a gun and shot her. And he'd gotten away with it.

And this was the guy who was practically stalking me.

Ellie's story was similar to mine. Paul had asked her out, and since she hadn't been in love with a seriously hot ghost at the time she'd said yes. He'd found out she was a shifter and taught her all she knew. Only, then she'd realised what he was really like and dumped him. Paul got seriously pissed with her and… well, you know the rest of the story.

And I had to pretend like I didn't know any of this. I couldn't let on that I knew Ellie. I had to go to school the next day and carry on with the plan. I had to go up to Paul and get those things we needed, even if it meant going to his house.

That's why Ellie hadn't wanted to tell me anything. And I've come to the decision that I wish she hadn't said a word.

Jesse said that I didn't have to worry about anything. That if anything happened he'd be there. But it wasn't making me feel any better. I didn't want Jesse anywhere near Paul; given the chance, he'd exorcise him on the spot.

I was _not _going to let that happen.

Which was why I was going to go through with Ellie's plan and I was _not_ going to fail.

She had it all worked out. I hadn't believed her that time when she'd said that she had it all under control. But she did. She'd explained it all to me. I was going to give Jesse his life back and see to it that Paul didn't bother me again.

I freaked as soon as I saw him, of course.

I'd spent like the whole morning telling myself to act normally, but what good is that? When you've got a guy who's killed someone walking the halls of your school, and you could very well be his next victim, telling yourself not to freak out does nothing whatsoever to help.

I was at my locker with Cee Cee when he came over. He was wearing the same grin as always, he had the same icy blue eyes, the same dark curly hair. The same Paul Slater whose house I'd been at yesterday, whom I'd actually _gone out_ with once. The same guy.

Yet in my eyes he was different.

This guy had _killed _someone just because he was pissed at her. Just because she hadn't liked the way he chose to use his shifting powers and dumped him. And I was going to have to ask Cee Cee to leave me _alone_ with him so I could talk to him. A talk that was most likely going to end in me agreeing to go _to his house!_

Forgive me for being a little scared.

Ok, make that positively terrified.

"So," he said once Cee Cee had gone, "how are you feeling?"

Oh God. How could he just stand there, asking me how I am after what he'd done?

"Me?" I said nervously, "I'm great! Fabulous even."

Ugh! Could I be any more obvious?

Just CALM DOWN Suze!

"Are you sure?" He said still, smiling. "You seem a little… weird."

"I'm fine," I assured him hastily. "Now where's my stuff?"

THAT surprised him.

He got over it quickly though. "So you still want to go through with it?"

"I'll take my chances," I said. "So where are my things?"

I noticed with satisfaction that Paul's smile was weaker than before. "At my place. But I'm telling you Suze, you're wasting you're time."

"It's worth a try though," I said.

He sighed

"And it's not like I've got anything better to do."

Then Paul's grin grew wider and I could see this totally evil glint in his eye. "Ok then, just be ready for me to take you to my place after school."

I ignored the urge to run away screaming and said, "Fine."

"Fine," Paul said then walked away, leaving me to wonder what on earth I'd gotten myself into.

**A/N: La di da! I've finally updated! I don't know why it's taken so long but I'll try and be quicker next time. No promises though. **

**Thank you all for the reviews!**

**Nikki007: Sorry this chapter took so long. Thanks for reviewing though.**

**Angel From Fairyland: Thanks! I think you sound sane enough. You like my fic after all. Tee hee! Just kidding. **

**KittyKatangel518: Babbling is good. Babbling equals long reviews, which are good. So yeah, if you feel a bit of a babble coming on then just go with it. Thanks for the review.**

**Arianna Sunrise: She did mention the book though, didn't she? Oh well, I'm glad you like it. **

**Marjorie: Some other guy? (Shakes head) Really! Or did you mean Paul? That's ok, I guess. Only she's back with Jesse now so it doesn't matter. Thanks for the reviews.**

**SwEeT-sHoRtEy: Thanks!**

**While you're all such lovely people do you think you could take a look at my new story Nothing To Me? If I get a few more reviews then there should be some JS fluff in it eventually. That's if I can actually think of a way to open the next chapter. Oh well. Review! **


	11. Chapter 11

**For Your Love**

**Chapter 11**

A few hours later I found myself stepping through the doorway of Paul's grandfather's house. Don't ask how I got this far, because I don't know. The fact that I hadn't bottled out as soon as Paul came up to me after school and asked me if I was ready went against all logic. I really, really didn't want to be here.

But then I really, really, really wanted to bring Jesse back to life, so we could finally be like a normal couple. And I guess that overpowered the sensible part of me that was telling me to get right out of that house.

Paul grinned at me. "The things you need are in my room," he said slyly.

Of course they are, I thought bitterly. You know if it hadn't been for his smug, ha-I've-got-you-now manner, I might not have noticed that this was all a plan to get me back in that damn bedroom of his.

Nice of him to point this out to me, wasn't it?

"You'd better go and get them then," I said as icily as I could.

But I knew he had me. Paul wasn't about go and get my stuff for me, just so I could leave when he came back. No way, not after he'd gotten me to come to his house. I don't think either of us thought that would be happening again anytime soon.

So I had two choices: either turn and walk away without the ingredients; or risk whatever he had planned for me if I stayed.

I didn't want to pick either of them. The walking away bit sounded good, but I needed those ingredients. I knew what I had to do, and I didn't like it one bit.

"Where's the fun in that?" Paul said in reply to my suggestion, making option one – to leave right now- look very appealing. This was not at all helped by the way he was leering at me as he said it. I swear it took all the will power I had not to turn round and leave right then.

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked, "I get to go home – away from this place - and give my boyfriend his life back. I think I'd enjoy that very much. Don't you?"

Paul raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like a blast," he said. "But it can wait."

I hated him. I really did.

"I'm not going up there," I told him, still clinging onto one last bit of hope that he'd give in and get the ingredients himself.

But who was I kidding? This was Paul Slater. And Paul Slater does _not _stop until he get's what he wants. And I should know, after the shifter lessons and everything.

Paul sighed this really fake sigh then said, "That's a shame." Then he just walked off upstairs. And I had a feeling he wasn't going to be back with the ingredients I needed anytime soon.

Defeated, I ran after him, making a mental note to, in the future, think of solutions to such problems _before_ agreeing to go to evil teenage guy's (such as Paul Slater) houses.

Paul opened the door to his room and, reluctantly, I stepped in. He followed, shutting the door behind him. I'm sure you can guess how comfortable _that _made me feel. "Why are you doing this?" I asked softly.

I knew the answer, though. He was doing it because he was sick, and evil, and he'd stop at nothing until he got his own way. Even if it meant killing someone.

I looked up at Paul to see that he was just staring at me. It was kind of creepy really. For a moment I actually thought I saw sadness in that look, but it was quickly replaced by anger. If it had actually been there in the first place, I mean. The malevolent smile he'd been wearing before changed into a scowl and when he spoke his voice was low and frustrated. "Because I want you Suze! Can't you see that that cowboy doesn't deserve you?"

I was about give him an angry reply; I was so not getting into an argument about Jesse with him right then. But then he stepped up to me, and I realised it wasn't an argument about Jesse that he was after at this moment in time. Instinctively, I started backing away, wishing there was some way I could get the hell out of here. But I knew it was hopeless. Paul was blocking the way between the door and me. Somehow I doubted he was going to be courteous enough to step out of the way. No matter how politely I asked him.

So, naturally, I ended up backing into a wall. Which, you know, was just great. But what could I possibly have been expecting? A secret passage? Somehow I doubt it.

Paul kept on coming towards me. He put hands on the wall on either side of me, trying to stop me from escaping. It worked. I couldn't move; my whole body was frozen. The desperate way Paul was looking down at me right then was really scaring me.

"You know he's not right for you," he said.

I managed to shake my head. That wasn't true.

"Why can't you see it Suze? We could be so good together. If you could just give me a chance I could teach you things you could never even imagine doing. Together we could be so powerful!"

I shook my head again. "No," I said as confidently as I could, if Paul thought there was any doubt in my mind then he'd never leave me alone. "I want Jesse, not you."

Paul's face twisted in anger as soon as I said it, practically as soon as I mentioned Jesse's name. I'd never seen him like that before. He seemed so desperate… so dangerous. He really hated Jesse. And it frightened me that Paul could hate someone so much because of me

He did something unexpected then: he dropped his arms and turned away. I stared at his back as he walked over to his bed and pulled a bag out from under it.

I took a step towards the door but Paul turned back to me, his normally icy eyes burned with anger and hatred towards Jesse.

"_Jesse_," he spat, his voice filled with loathing, "is not going to be around for much longer."

He then held the bag out to me. "Here are your things."

I stared at the bag. After all that he was just _giving_ it to me?

"What?"

Paul gave me an irritated look. "I brought you here I could give you your ingredients. So here they are. Take them, before I change my mind."

Still slightly surprised, I took the bag.

"I'll give you a ride home," he said and walked out of the room.

I was about to protest but then changed my mind. Sure, Paul was freaking me out right then but I did _not_ want to face that walk home again.

I followed him out of the house and got into his car.

The journey was surprisingly uneventful. You would have thought Paul would have _something_ to say after what just happened in his room. But no, the whole way to my house was spent in silence, with Paul seemingly deep in thought.

When we got to my destination I got out of the car, muttered bye to him, then walked into my house and hurried up into my room.

When I walked in, Jesse and Ellie were both standing near the window seat, waiting for me.

"Well?" Jesse said eagerly, taking a few steps towards me.

I held up the bag triumphantly. "I got them!"

**A/N: Sorry it's so short. I tried to pad it out but it just wasn't happening. Tell me if it seemed rushed at all and I'll try and edit it.**

**Ok. To my reviewers…**

**Nikki007: nice. I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out what happens. **

**Flonshoe: Oh well. At least I know you're still reading. And sorry about the author alert thing. I know how annoying it is to get alerts for stuff you're not reading. I'll try and take turns updating each story, unless I get really bad writer's block for one and a ton of inspiration for another, that is. Sound good to you?**

**Angelic Chocolate Fairy: Thank you! I love Paul, but I guess he's coming off pretty yacky in this story. Probably because I hated him when I started writing it. **

**BillThePonyLlama: You'll see how he got away with it… I think… Thanks for the review.**

**Meggiec: I'd forgotten about those injections. That was ages ago! Eep! Sorry for taking so long to update!**

**Iluvmeg: It can't have changed all that much. I mean, it would have changed in Twilight too, wouldn't it? Oh, I don't know, it's been ages since I read it. Anyway, how about it sort it out without changing anything? Like, in future chapters?**

**Nobody: Looks like you can calm down. Suze is ok… for now! Mwuhahaha… shutting up.**

**Fatalmoment: Thank you! **

**JessedeSilva: Thank you too! **

**PureEsparenza: And I also thank you!**

**Ok, review everyone!**


	12. Chapter 12

**For Your Love**

Chapter 12 

I could barely believe it. I was going to bring Jesse back to life tonight! I was actually holding the ingredients to the spell in my hand! And, sure, maybe Paul was going to do all he could to get rid of Jesse once he was alive, but we could get through that. We'd got this far hadn't we? With Ellie's help we were going to do this.

I was so happy right then and so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realise what was going on behind me. One minute I was thinking how great it was that I had these ingredients. And the next the bag suddenly wasn't in my hands anymore.

I spun round as it was plucked from my grasp. And, sure enough, Paul Slater was standing there.

I gaped at him. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised that Paul would change his mind about this. But I guess the way he had given up like that in his room had made me think that he wasn't so bad. But that was stupid of me. I mean, if he 'wasn't so bad' then I wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place.

The truth was that Paul Slater was evil. And that was that.

"Paul! What are you doing?"

Paul attempted to look like he was sorry. "I'm afraid this bringing-Jesse-back-to-life-thing isn't such a good idea."

No! This couldn't be happening. We were so close!

I stared at Paul, silently begging him to have some compassion for me. If he really cared for me then surely he'd let me be happy.

"Please…"

I swear for a moment I saw something flicker in Paul's eyes when I said that. But it was gone before I could figure out what it was.

I looked at Jesse. I'm sure you can guess his feelings on the matter. Jesse thinks Paul is dirt. And right then he was furious.

"You'd better have a good excuse for this Slater."

Wow. Jesse was actually taking this quite well. Usually he's not nearly as tolerant, where Paul's concerned, anyway.

"And I do," Paul said walking into the centre of the room. "I promise. I mean, what did you think? That _this_ was my big plan? As if. I had much worse in mind for you _Jesse_."

Jesse glowered at him. I looked over to Ellie and saw she wasn't much happier. In fact, she was worse! As she glared at Paul, I noticed things around my room begin to shake.

"Whoa!" I cried. Then, before I could do anything, she charged at him - to get the bag off him, I presumed… or maybe worse, this was the guy who had killed her after all. Paul calmly stepped out of her way then turned and glared at her.

And she froze!

I swear; she wasn't even blinking! Everything had stopped shaking and Jesse and I just stared at Paul.

He grinned at me. "Anyway," he said, "I wasn't really intending to join you so soon. But then I saw Ellie in the window… You know, everything makes sense now. I don't know how I didn't figure it out before. I mean, you suddenly become an expert on shifting, after stealing the exact same book Ellie wanted. It didn't really click before…" Paul paused for a few seconds. "I still don't know what she wants with you though. It's obviously me she's got the problem with…what story did she tell you?"

I didn't answer; I was still getting over the Paul-freezing-Ellie-with-one-glance thing to tell the truth. "What did you do to her?"

Paul glanced at Ellie's frozen form. "Froze her," he said, like he thought I came across this sort of thing every day. Um, not quite! "She'll probably unfreeze herself soon. She was always good at shifting. Too good at it."

Right.

I just continued to stare at Ellie. How come Paul hadn't taught me _that_?

I noticed Paul go and sit on the end of my bed. "You're lucky I happened to see her, you know," he said, nodding at Ellie.

"And why is that?" I looked up at Jesse spoke. He'd gotten over the shock and seemed angry again.

"Because she's using you both for something," Paul explained.

"Yeah," I said. "To get revenge on you!"

He looked at Ellie. "Obviously," he agreed, "but do you really think she'd make this much of an effort to help you just to piss me off. Especially when it would be so much easier for her to just come straight to me. She didn't _need_ to go anywhere near you."

I gave Paul a sardonic smile, "You see, Paul," I said dryly, "There are these thinks called _good deeds_-"

Paul rolled his eyes. "Thanks to you, Suze, I know only too well what a good deed is. And, I'm telling you, Ellie wouldn't waste her time on that nonsense," Paul looked at me. "And I know that really, you don't want to either."

I looked at Jesse who was glaring at Paul, clearly not happy about the way he was looking at me right then. Jesse looked like he would have loved to break Paul's nose again at the very least. But then he didn't seem to keen on turning out like Ellie so he stayed where he was.

I wasn't sure if the was much of a risk anyway. Paul seemed to have forgotten that Jesse was in the room.

"Sure," he said, "Ellie's nothing compared to you Suze, but she refused to settle for all that helping-lost-souls crap." He paused for a second then said, "But then, maybe that's why she died."

Well, all this was news to me. I was having trouble taking it all in. And then Ellie unfroze. Paul turned but she quickly dematerialised so he couldn't freeze her again. He looked annoyed but didn't say anything.

"Okay," I said, "So I'm just supposed to take your word for this? You killed her for God's sake!"

Paul stood up and took a step towards me. "You don't know what happened."

"Ellie told me what happened. She dumped you and you _killed_ her."

"Why should you believe her any more than you believe me?" Paul sounded really annoyed.

"You just admitted it!" I said, exasperated.

"But you don't know the circumstances."

This was ridiculous! Paul actually expected us to believe that he was on our side and _Ellie _was the one who was out to get us? I wasn't buying it.

"Slater!" Paul turned, annoyed that Jesse had butted in. Paul had been talking to me the whole time; he didn't seem to care what Jesse had to say on the matter. "You have been nothing but trouble since you came here. What reason have you ever given us to trust you?"

"Well I didn't expect _you_ to believe me," Paul told him, then he turned to me, "But you, Suze, I know _you_ know better."

I shook my head, "I don't think so. I think you're just trying to turn us against her. After all, you know she's helping us now, and you know that means we've got more chance of succeeding."

"You're wrong, Suze," Paul looked desperate, but wouldn't he be? I was ruining his plan after all.

"I don't think I am," I said.

Paul stepped up to me. "Suze, you've got to believe me!" He grabbed hold of my arms –

And went flying across the room.

Paul wasn't the only person here with superpowers. And Jesse seemed to have had enough of Paul.

Jesse stepped in front of me and picked up the bag that Paul had dropped. "Get out of here Slater."

Paul stood up. And I saw he was looking absolutely murderous.

Bad move Jesse.

"You're going to be sorry now, de Silva," he said in a low voice.

**A/N: I don't know how good that chapter was but I enjoyed writing it. And I actually know what to write next! Hurrah! I'd make it longer but I've got to get a both now, since my shower broke. Gah.**

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**Angelic Chocolate Fairy: Even more possibilities now aren't there? Tee hee. Only one way to find out what happens. Keep reading! That is, unless it turns out that you're psychic. Oo-er!**

**Sweet-shortey: He's not giving up though is he? He said Jesse wasn't going to be around for much longer. Sigh. I don't know why my chapters always seem rushed. I spend long enough on them.**

**PunkKagome1324: Thank you. I'm glad you like it so much. Was that a quick update? I'm not sure.**

**Nikki007: Thanks. Just keep reading!**

**Meggiec: What on earth were you doing up at such an hour for? Um… reading my story obviously. Ok that can be forgiven. And that's not such a bad idea after all. Maybe that is what he was thinking. Who knows?**

**Ok. Review please!**


	13. Chapter 13

**For Your Love**

**Chapter 13**

"Jesse, get out of here quickly."

I moved to his side and looked up at him. He seemed totally confused.

"What?"

"Just _go_ Jesse!" I said, this time with more urgency in my voice.

Jesse stayed put. "I am _not_ leaving you alone with him Susannah." He scowled at Paul.

_No._ Jesse could _not_ be arguing with me right now! Not after finding out that Paul could do a lot more with his powers than just shifting between the realms of the living and the dead.

"I'll be fine!" I told him. It was the truth too. I didn't think Paul wanted to hurt me. But Jesse on the other hand… "Just get out of here Jesse! We really don't need you to get exorcised again right now!"

Jesse's eyes narrowed. I looked over to Paul and saw he was looking very interested in the way Jesse and me were arguing.

"Please…" I said, turning back to Jesse.

"No," was his firm reply.

Oh God. Jesse had no idea what he was getting himself into. This could ruin everything!

Paul decided to voice his opinion on the matter. "You should listen to her, you know," he drawled. "Save yourself. You know I'm not going to hurt Suze. Just leave her alone with me." Paul winked at me. "I'm sure we'll have a great time."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Jesse lunged at him. He drew back his fist and smacked him in the mouth. Paul went flying backwards for the second time in five minutes, this time into my bedroom wall. I could tell he wasn't at all pleased about this.

He stood up, wiping blood from his split lip, but before he could do anything else Jesse went up to him, grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the wall. "If you lay a finger on her," Jesse hissed, "then I will tear you limb from limb."

I personally thought that Jesse sounded pretty scary when he said that. Paul however, didn't seem at all bothered by Jesse's threat. In fact he laughed. "Won't that be difficult seeing as I'm not planning on letting you stick around for that long?"

Then Jesse dematerialised. Or at least that's what I thought he'd done. Relief turned to horror as I realised that Paul wasn't just standing there, annoyed that he'd lost his chance to get back at Jesse. Instead he was unconscious. He'd shifted. And he'd taken Jesse with him.

I'd known something like this was going to happen. Why can't Jesse and I just have a normal relationship? Is that just too much to ask for?

Who did Paul think he was anyway? How could he come here asking for my trust, then do this?

Well I knew what I had to do. I had to go to Shadowland and get Jesse back. No matter how much I hated the place.

Only then something happened that stopped me from shifting. I was just about to close my eyes when I saw a faint glow to the side of me. I turned and saw Ellie picking up the knife we'd used to cut Jesse the other day.

Um, what was she doing?

"Ellie?"

Ellie turned to face me. She still looked really angry. "I'm ending this now," she said.

"What…?" At first I didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Then I saw her walk over to Paul's unconscious body, holding the knife.

"Whoa!" I said realising just what she had in mind. Then, without really thinking, I rushed forward and pulled her back. "What do you think you think you're doing?" I asked.

Ok let me get this straight: I _do_ hate Paul and everything, but killing him is so not the answer. I mean, after everything that happened with Michael Meducci that time I've totally learned my lesson about that sort of thing.

"Don't bother trying to stop me Suze," she said, sounding bored. She pulled away from me and turned back to Paul. I spun her around again.

"You don't need to do this Ellie," I said.

Ellie scowled at me. "I thought you hated him," she said, her anger now also directed at me.

I tried to explain, "Well I do, but that doesn't mean you should kill him. It's wrong."

"And it was wrong to kill _me_ too!" she yelled. "And I don't care what's right or wrong, I'm getting my rev-" she stopped then a small smile crept onto her face. "Wait, you're right. Perhaps I shouldn't kill him. I want to make him suffer after all." She turned back round to Paul, but had lowered the knife. "And what better way to do it than get rid of the person who started all this?"

Um, what? I thought Paul was the one who had started it. Was I missing something?

"Who?" I asked.

Ellie turned back round to face me. She wasn't smiling anymore, I noticed. Far from it, her eyes were filled with anger and hatred towards _me_.

"He's left me the perfect opportunity too, by going off with Jesse and all. He's too busy taking care of _him_ to worry about what could happen to you."

Yep, definitely missing something.

"You have no idea," she went on, "how desperate I've been to do this since I met you. You ruined _everything_ for Paul and me."

I was still really confused. I mean, one minute she's helping me to get revenge on Paul; then she decides she's just going to kill him; then for some totally unknown reason she wants to kill _me_.

"Ellie," I said, "I really don't know-"

Ellie interrupted angrily, her voice much louder than it had been at first, "You think you're so unfortunate. You're always complaining about something, like Jesse not being alive or Paul being in love with you. You have no idea that some people would give _anything_ to have what you've got!"

"You can have it!" I said. Seriously, having Paul practically stalking you is no picnic, I'd be more than glad for it to be Ellie he wanted instead.

"I _did_ have it!" she screamed, "And _you_ took it all away from me! You ruined everything!"

"I don't get it," I said truthfully, "You told me before that you two broke up because you didn't like how Paul treated the ghosts that came to him."

"Well of course I wasn't going to tell you the truth _then_," she snapped. "But I'll tell you now. You might as well know what you've done. That while I was sat at home in Seattle last summer, missing my boyfriend, _he_ was off in California with some skank who was supposed to be looking after his little brother."

Ok, one thing: I am _not_ a skank. I was about to point that out to her, but she just carried on talking.

"When he got back he just went on acting as if nothing had happened, so I didn't realise at first. But then his brother told me he thought we'd broken up. And when I asked why, he told me it was because Paul had been going out with _you_ while he was here."

Ellie seemed really upset by this point. I was almost torn between being angry with her for calling me a skank and feeling sorry for her. Almost, though. I mean, she'd just told me she was planning on killing me; she's not exactly on my top ten favourite people list right now.

I could tell she really loved Paul though, despite wanting to kill him and all.

"So now I guess I'm killing two birds with one stone," she said casually, not sounding at all like she was talking about murder. "By killing you I'll get my revenge for what you did to me. And Paul's sure to be upset about losing his new love," she sneered at me as she said that last bit.

"Right," I said. "So now that you've finished filling me in on the details I've missed you're going to kill me?"

She smirked, "Damn straight."

And then, before I could so much as reach out to try and get the knife off her – which had been my plan - I went flying backwards into something really hard and lost consciousness.

You know, when I woke up I hadn't at all expected my head to start hurting like it did. I mean, that time I'd had myself exorcised I'd had that hideous bruise, but it hadn't hurt at all. And it figured that being dead would be just like that.

Only then I saw a face hovering over mine. Paul's face.

"You ok?" he asked looking pretty concerned.

Oh yeah, just fine. Apart from the whole part where my head feels like its being repeatedly pounded on by bricks or something, I mean.

"No." I closed my eyes and groaned. "How come I'm not dead?"

Opening my eyes again, I saw that Paul was grinning. "Ah," he said, "that would be thanks to me."

"Hooray," I said, not very enthusiastically. I propped myself up on my elbows. I was lying on my bed with Paul sitting next to me.

"Come on Suze," Paul said. "Surviving Ellie's attempt to kill you can't be that bad."

That's what you think.

Fool.

I looked around. "Where's Jesse?" I had only just realised that he wasn't in the room. Nice of me, I know.

Paul rolled his eyes. "Probably right where I left him. The guy really doesn't know what's good for him after all."

I ignored his last comment and groaned. "Great," I said. I was SO not in the mood for shifting right now. I mean, I already had a really bad headache, I was sure shifting would make it worse. Why couldn't Jesse have listened to me before? Now _I_ had to go and rescue him.

"Thanks for that Paul," I said, annoyed.

"Just doing my job," he replied dryly.

God, why couldn't Paul get a normal job? Like working at McDonalds or something. Ha! Paul working at McDonalds, somehow I couldn't quite see that happening.

"Right," I said, "Look, you see that book?" I pointed to _Critical_ _Theory_ S_ince_ _Plato, _which Jesse had left on the window seat. "In the future skip all the rigmarole and just hit me over the head with that instead. It ought to do the trick."

Then I lay back down, closed my eyes and shifted.

**A/N: There are parts of this chapter that I really don't like. But I've been working on it for ages so I give up now. Anyone got any constructive criticism for me? **

**Ok review replies…**

**Demonic Miko: Thanks. Looks like I updated. Your turn now. Because your story's great!**

**Angel Gemman: I'm sure Jesse will be fine. Just keep reading! And thanks for the review.**

**Nikki007: Um, right. I'll pass that on lol. Thanks for reviewing.**

**- Jassy-Pooh Meets Winnie-the-Pooh -: As much as I like PS this started as JS so I'm going to keep it that way. I mean, that's what everyone wants right?**

**meggiec: Sorry, I forget that there are people out there who actually have lives, unlike me. I just can't be bothered. So yeah, if you want to stay out late then you do that. **

**Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**For Your Love**

**Chapter 14**

"Jesse!"

Jesse turned around upon hearing his name and stared at me expressionlessly.

"Good," I said with a smile, "it's you. I was hoping I wouldn't have to look for you for _too_ long. I mean this place is pretty creepy, don't you think?"

Ok, this was my plan: I could so tell Jesse was going to kick off about me coming after him. I mean, he's Jesse, that's what he does. So what I'd decided to do was act casual, and then maybe he wouldn't think us both being up here again was such a big deal.

Except it was. I mean, Shadowland is more than 'pretty creepy'; I'm terrified of the place. And that nightmare I'd had last night had so not helped. But, of course, I had way more important things to worry about than that. So I figured that as long as I found Jesse and kept my visit here short, then I didn't have any reason to make a fuss.

Jesse, however, didn't seem to have thought this through the same way I had. "Susannah-" he began.

"Don't!" I said quickly.

Jesse's eyebrows knit together. "Don't what?"

"Don't start lecturing me, or whatever, 'cause I know what I'm doing this time."

Jesse still didn't look happy. "Susannah you didn't-"

I cut him off again. "Look Jesse, do you want to get out of here or not? 'Cause I know how to get in and out of here now and I figure I can take you with me. But, you know, I would much rather be doing that right now than listening to you fret over me for no reason. So you can come or you can stay, it's up to you. But either way _I_ want to get out of here. So can you decide, please?"

Okay, I know I was being rather mean to Jesse right now. But can you blame me? The whole thing with Ellie had pissed me off! And if you think about it, this whole mess was Jesse's fault. If he had listened to me rather than going all macho and protective of me then this would not be happening!

So, instead of waiting for an answer, I grabbed Jesse's hand, ready to shift with him. Before I did so, though, I remembered something. "Look," I said, "I, um, think I have reason to believe that Paul might be telling us the truth. So, you know, be nice okay."

Jesse stared at me, incredulous. "Why?"

"Because he's not going to tell us what we need to know if you're there knocking the stuffing out of him," I said, matter of factly.

"No," Jesse said, "I meant, why do you think Slater is telling the truth?"

"Um… because Ellie just tried to kill me," I said real fast, and then I closed my eyes and shifted before Jesse could say anything.

Paul was still sitting next to me when I opened my eyes. He grinned down at me. "You okay?"

"Just peachy," I muttered in reply as I sat up slowly. Gah, shifting headache!

"She tried to kill you?" said an angry voice from my other side. Looks like I'd brought Jesse back safely.

"Yes," I replied, turning to him, "We did all the _I hate you because you stole my boyfriend blah blah blah for this you will die!_ Then she chucked me at my dressing table and I lost consciousness." Seeing the look on Jesse's face I quickly added, "I'm okay though, Paul came and scared her off before she could do any real damage."

Jesse looked at me for a few seconds then he nodded, not necessarily satisfied but I guess he realised that we had more that we needed to talk about.

I turned to Paul. "Okay, so how about filling us in a little on what we've been dragged into by that ex-girlfriend of yours?"

"What more is there to talk about?" Paul asked lightly.

"Um, what about the whole _yes, I killed her but you don't know the circumstances _thing? Since Ellie's stories don't exactly fit, and all."

"Why, what did she tell you?" Paul said, looking slightly amused.

"Um, that after you taught her all that shifting stuff, she decided she wanted to use her powers for good instead of evil. So she dumped you – the big bad guy – and you, consumed by rage, got out a gun and shot her." I gave him a curious look, "Any of that sound familiar?"

Paul blinked. "God," he said, "What a drama queen. And you actually believed this?"

"That, I take it, is not how it all went down then?" I asked feeling pretty relieved.

Paul looked kind of disgusted, yet amused at the same time. "Um, no."

"Well," I said, "That's good."

Jesse didn't seem impressed, though. "What really happened then?" he asked, like he expected Paul's version of the events to be much worse than Ellie's.

"Yeah," I said, "Ellie said she was angry at me because of… "I hesitated, not wanting to be too specific while Jesse was in the room, "because of what happened during the summer. And because then you went home to her pretending nothing had changed. Which, I have to say, proves what an utter jerk you are."

Paul rolled his eyes. "God, I thought I was never going to see you again. What did you expect me to do? Go home and dump her, claiming I could never love another?"

Gee, thanks for being so subtle, Paul. I looked up at Jesse; if he was annoyed by what we were talking about then he was doing his best not to let it show. I guess he realised that we needed to hear what Paul had to say.

"You could have tried not attempting to cheat on her in the first place," I said kind of huffily.

Paul grinned at me, "I couldn't resist."

At this point Jesse decided that he'd had enough of _that_ topic and went in his no nonsense voice, "What happened then? Why did you kill her?"

Paul hesitated for a second then went, "It was an accident, okay. I mean, when that girl gets angry she turns into a complete psycho. And right then she hated me. She suggested that we could go for a walk, so we did. We went to a park. It was night, so it was pretty easy to find a spot that was empty. We stopped there and suddenly Ellie was all 'Who the hell is Suze?' One minute we were just talking and the next she was trying to off me. She started hitting me at first, but once I grabbed her arms she started throwing things at me, you know, telekinetically. All I did was try and calm her down; I swear that's all I was doing. And then somehow she managed to snap this massive branch off this tree above her and she sent it flying right at me. And, well… what could I do? I didn't have time to think, I just sent it flying right back at her…"

"And it killed her…" I said.

"Yeah," Paul's face was completely unreadable. He seemed determined to show no emotion. Either that or he just didn't care.

"God," I muttered, "and there was I thinking you were some kind of psychotic murderer."

Paul smiled slightly. "Not quite."

"What happened next?" I asked. I mean, even if he hadn't meant to, Paul had still killed someone. Surely the police would have got involved eventually.

"I rang an ambulance, told them we were just walking through and the branch fell. Ellie didn't get out of the way quick enough. Yeah, it seemed suspicious, but the branch was huge, no normal person could have snapped it like that. So every one thought it was an accident. I got away with it completely. And Ellie must be furious about that." Paul looked at me, his face completely serious, "Look, I always knew Ellie was going to try and get her revenge, but I never expected it to involve you. I know you never did anything to deserve what happened earlier but Ellie thinks you're just as much to blame as me. And it's going to be difficult to get rid of her, but… I'll help, okay?"

"Er… thanks," I said.

It was weird. The thought of joining forces with Paul, I mean. Jesse wasn't happy about it, I could tell, but I think he was waiting till Paul was gone for us to discuss it. The thing was, though, that Paul was right, it _was_ going to be hard to get rid of Ellie. With her being some powerful shifter while she was alive, she was going to know every trick in the book.

But Paul knew a lot too. And I was pretty sure that that was going to help.

"I don't like this," Jesse said, practically as soon as I got back into my room. Paul had left when David had called that dinner was ready and I had gone downstairs without any chance to talk to Jesse before now.

"I know you don't, Jesse," I said sitting down next to him on the window seat, "But what else can we do. Ellie's not going to move on freely until she kills Paul and me, and she's not going to let herself get exorcised. We're going to need all the help we can get."

Jesse didn't seem convinced. "I don't trust him. He could be planning anything."

"Well, I think he really did feel bad about bringing me into this. And anyway, Ellie wants to kill him too. If you ask me, that's a pretty good reason for wanting to get rid of her."

Jesse shook his head. "I do not doubt that Slater wants to get rid of Ellie. I am just worried that that is not all he wants to do. I don't want you to get hurt querida."

I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him, leaning my head against his chest. "I don't think Paul wants to hurt me. But we'll be careful anyway, okay. Just… don't worry about it, Jesse."

Jesse nodded, but he didn't really seem satisfied. I guess it takes a lot to convince Jesse that I'm not in some kind of danger where Paul's concerned. Even if it's obvious that he's on our side.

I sat up straight to look Jesse in the eye. "I _will_ be fine Jesse. We both will." Then I leaned in and kissed him. Our first kiss since he came back. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful it felt.

Only, that feeling didn't last very long. To my annoyance, as soon as I pulled back I saw the familiar glow of someone materialising out of the corner of my eye. I turned round and there was Ellie.

I jumped to my feet, and so did Jesse.

"What do you want?" I asked, hoping that whatever it was wasn't going to end with me being sent flying through the big bay window behind me. I decided to move away from it, just for good measure.

"Not much," Ellie replied with a smirk, and then she turned round and took the bottle with Jesse's blood in it out of the drawer behind her. It took me a second to realise that she was holding the bag of ingredients that were supposed to bring Jesse back to life in her hand. Then before either of us could do anything she dematerialised.

I turned and stared at Jesse. "What was _that _about?"

**A/N: I edited the first chapter if anyone wants to reread it. I think it's better.**

**No time for review replies I've got to go out now. Sorry.**


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